2010: The Era of Me-ism Moves to We-ism

The year 2010 is moving in. Five days from now will be the birth of a new year. There is something magical in the year 2010. It feels as if it will be memorable, in a positive way. The numbers 2010 cause my imagination to dream I am entering into a star trek zone, a space odyssey. Closing my eyes, my mind conjures images of the heavens opening up and tiny particles of light in all colors spray across the sky like a kaleidoscope in varying patterns, bursting into newness. Earth staying the same but the heavens opening to us differently. Brighter skies, more celestial light beams, light as we have never seen before. All a glorious rebirth of the heavens. Bursting in fairy dust, magical, transporting, visionary. I see change as we have never seen it before, where anything is possible! I see wonderment, awe inspiring transitions. A wonderful vision of things to come. I see the world changing, people changing. I see a vision of a softer, kinder society. The new skies are humbling to us and we as a people globally unite more in spirit. The opening of the skies helping us all to realize that we are particles of light too, we are all one as the universe is all one. I see a greater awareness of this oneness and the era of me-ism moves into we-ism. People are helping each other, reaching outside of themselves. It is global action where love and kindness rule. Our global vehicle is the Internet, something once not even imagined, yet now a reality. It surrounds us like a space shuttle, transporting minds and souls to places only dreamed. Those who never walked, can walk again! Everyone has a voice! Loneliness disappears with the strike of the keyboard. Transportation changes into teleporting globally. Love is expressed heart to heart in castles and kingdoms, deserts and plains, shacks and mansions, mountains and oceans. Love reaches places unknown and is experienced where once there was hate. The skies open, fantasy particles of light fall over the universe and all are cast into a sea of love on earth. An awakening appears.

I open my eyes, is this a dream? Or is 2010 the turning of time where "me-ism" becomes "we-ism" in the oneness of heart, mind and soul?

Christmas in Sedona

It's Christmas time again! Under normal circumstances I'd be enjoying this holiday like I always have. My late husband David and I use to make our annual trek from Massachusetts to spend our Christmas vacation in the west. In Sedona, AZ. we would meet up with other snow birds and experience Christmas away from the hustle and bustle and cold of the New England winters. Several years after visiting, we settled in Sedona permanently. Our snowbird friends would still come at Christmas until each began to settle into their own lives in various places. I remember being so excited as we'd drive into town in our 33 foot Holiday Imperial Coach. With the anticipation of a child, I could hardly wait to get here. Dave seemed to genuinely enjoy my excitement as he'd navigate our big rig around the winding roads and into the RV park where we'd spend our winters off Schnebly Hill. Friends would come to meet us and it was a glorious reunion. Our Christmas's were spent with many friends, each bringing a dish to share as we'd sit around a blazing campfire well into the pitch black nights of Sedona. Our Christmas day was filled with a hike, gourmet food and some type of spiritual ceremony. Those were Christmas's I won't forget. They were filled with meaning, warm friends and were different than anything I'd experienced in my traditional life back east. We had tasted the west, the native American culture, the mystical ambiance of Sedona's lure. Sedona had found a home in our hearts. In 1999 we bought our home in the Village of Oak Creek.

Life was good. We shared a unique lifestyle, enjoying the red rock country in our daily exposure to life. Sometimes I wondered if it could get any better than this? Life was full of adventure! We hiked and played and in the winter Dave skied up in Flagstaff. We traveled. He was in his glory and had exactly what he wanted, a mild climate, no snow to deal with and within an hours ride he could be skiing at the San Francisco Peaks. We truly were enjoying life. Christmas's came and went, each being a little different once we moved into our home. Dave became reconnected with his daughter and her children so we began having family Christmas's once again. The kids seemed to really enjoy coming over to Sedona from California. I made a special effort to create memorable Christmas's for them. Loving to cook, I created wonderful meals to fill their senses. Dave would take them up on the mountain to go skiing or sledding, enjoying all the experiences he could with his grandchildren. Having my own children so far away in Massachusetts, I too, looked forward to the visits from his family. Life was full, connected, joyful and Christmas was something I looked forward to.

This year, David is gone. Taken by cancer in April of this year, his absence has turned my life upside down. Where oh where is Christmas this year? I can't seem to find it. The house is undecorated. Silent moments of old memories, crashing heartbreak and pain flood me. I wonder if I'll ever be able to create Christmas memories again? Will life ever get better? I try, oh how I try; yet the silent moments of aloneness echo though my soul like a chilling winter wind. The tortuous walk alone, agonizing, sometimes unbearable. How I would like to run away to a far away place with warm sunshine and crashing ocean waves distracting me from my pain. Yet, I can not run far for wherever I go, there I am. Each corner a mirror; there is no escape. There is only one way out and it's staying on the path. Tears rolling down my cheeks as my thoughts reflect back to him. I never knew it would be so hard to move ahead. Each day with one foot in front of the other, the only purpose being to land on solid ground. Wondering why I am even walking, one foot in front of the next, where am I going? What is my purpose for moving ahead? Where do I go from here? All these questions rumble through my mind as each day turns like a page in book. Only my pages are blank and life isn't unfolding a story. It's more like a flatline on a hospital machine. Every day I "get through", it isn't the same as living them. How do I spend Christmas alone in the west? How do I get through these holidays without my best friend, my love?

Life just doesn't seem normal to me. Why even my "purfect"cat has turned into a delinquent, having her own crisis! Scratching and clawing up the carpets, she misses him too. I know I'm where I'm suppose to be in my grief, moving along on schedule. I've tried to do what I can for myself but sometimes it seems like I am on an island alone. Do the neighbors even notice? Where are my friends? Everyone has their own life. This is a time I would like to be an elephant, nutured and cared for by my herd. Yet, I pull away and get lost in aloneness. Birthing into a new beginning is like the baby chick having to break out of its own eggshell. No one can do this for me. I close my eyes, breath a deep sigh and know, my Spring will come. Soon I will hear the sweet songs of the birds, the sun will warm my aching soul and life will be renewed in love. My Spring will come.

Debtors Revolution

Recently, I was outraged by CitiBank credit card company raising my interest rate to 29.9% I made a phone call to the service department to discuss this change and try to understand what was happening. I was given no explanation as to a reason, just that this was the new policy. I asked to speak to a supervisor, then attempted to negotiate a better rate since I'd been a loyal customer for 16 years! There was no cutting a deal, even when I offered to pay the card in full. I was told, "accept the rate or cancel your card". I would be a fool to keep a card that charged nearly 30% on any new purchases. I canceled the card, said a few not so nice things and hung up. I sensed that this type of business practice was about to start a revolution.



I was dazed by the lack of caring that Citi Bank was displaying for it's customers. The conversation with the bank began to settle into my mind. I had two other cards so I wasn't too worried at that point. Yet, as I began to sit with what I had just experienced, my mind began to realize that this was just the lead in to what we, as a country, are about to experience with the banks. I knew it was a matter of time before all the card companies did the same thing and I, along with the rest of America, would be without credit, unless accepting the rape of these financial institutions. It was time to sit up and take notice and take it quickly.



I began to feel an urgency to move fast. My option was to continue time payments at my existing rate until the balance was paid off or pay the card off immediately, which would deny Citibank another nickle of interest from me. I began to put into motion the plan to pay the balance to zero NOW. My second step was to invest the monthly payments that I would have been making to my credit card, into my savings. The time had come to realize that a credit card lifestyle was no longer going to be an option. This sounded dramatic, yet the simple truth is that I am not willing to buy a product and pay 30% over time to pay it off. The realization was hitting me hard that a lifestyle adjustment needed to occur. The instant gratification society was coming to a crashing end and I was onboard the locomotive! I could see it. I began to rethink my life, my expenditures, my lifestyle. Not only those areas but I began to think that we, as a country, were headed for a depression.

The banks who lured us all into the luxury of credit, were now slapping our hands and penalizing us for usage! The smug people behind the desks who were ripping away our "Easy Street" will soon be jobless as the country begins to take a full swing towards old time financial values. The days of the 1950's, when we thought about a purchase before buying, when we saved for it, dreamed of what we wanted and relished in the delight of the hard work it took to get it, is happening; it is coming!

Brace yourself America! Prepare to tighten and live with less. This may not be easy, it's going to hurt, because we as a society have been use to having so much. Many jobless souls have lived on credit cards to just survive. What will they do now? Will people be throwing themselves out of buildings as in the days of the Great Depression? I hope not. I hope those in vises will get the counseling they need to work through to a solution. A problem is only a cause to find a solution. America in general is revolting.

Not only is a revolution occuring, according to Youtube and the News, but a huge social change is underway. It's a change we need as a society. We have been like a runaway train and our engine was indeed the financial instutions and the government. We, as a people, are not victims. We have the power to fight back. Yet, I encourage those who fight, to be smart about the way they go about fighting the system. Do NOT damage the good credit you have worked a lifetime to build. If you owe the debt then you need to pay it. That is the honorable thing to do. The credit was extended to you, it is your responsibility to repay it. I do not agree with the current wave of withholding any payment until the credit card rate is reduced. That is hurting oneself and setting oneself up for hardship down the road. Instead, I believe we should pay the bill off at the rate you had, cancel the card. Then adapt a lifestyle of saving those former payments by putting them into savings. Stop using credit cards. Ask about lay-a-way plans if you need time. The stopage of credit card usage will hurt the banks a lot more than your refusal to pay another cent on your card, for if one stops paying what is owed, then the debtor will be in the wrong.

Americans must take a stand but in a way that is sensible. Some people are in over their heads and will not be able to pay off their cards. They need to get Credit counseling that will assist with creative alternatives. Many people are already walking away from their debt just as they walked away from their mortgages. If you have good credit, be sensible.

If you can not save money, you can not buy. It is that simple.
If you must use a card, pay the balance in 30 days so you will not be charged any interest.
If you can not pay it off in 30 days, DO NOT BUY. It is OK to do without something.
Begin your lifestyle change. We could start a whole website on creative ways to cut corners and still feel good about life. I haven't researched, but I am sure sites such as these already exist.
Start using food co-ops.
Begin neighbor to neighbor assistance instead of isolating.
Have more pot luck dinners for entertaining.
We can go back to a time when life was more simple and people reached out and helped each other. We need that as a society.

Am I an alarmist? I welcome your feedback.

For the Youtube link on the founder of the revolution:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQDdAuG5oKw

A QUIET MOMENT OF INTIMACY

I slept late this morning. Perhaps some of the after affects of getting my flu shot the day before. Walking sleepily from the bedroom to my kitchen, I made my usual pot of organic coffee. Pouring my first cup, I was lured outside to the garden where I could be with the sounds and sights of nature. Because I awoke later than usual, the sun was already warming my usual sitting area, which seemed uncomfortably hot. So, I moved over to the shaded gazebo. David's ashes sat in the sundial just beyond the arch of the gazebo. It had been five months since my husband past. There I was, sitting near him, like old times sharing our morning coffee together. As I soaked up the late morning air, I felt drawn to move to the sunken garden below. Here, laid the pond that David built. As my bare feet touched the stone walkway leading in that direction, I could feel the warmth of the sun penetrating into my feet and toes. I stood at the top of the stairs that led down to the pond, gazing for a moment over the fruit of David's labor. What a beautiful gift he had left me with in his work. The pond was David's creation and we enjoyed many mornings and evenings there. It was a very intimate space in the yard. I stepped slowly down one step at a time, until reaching the moist grass below. Still wet from the morning sprayers, it felt cool and damp on my toes. My heart sang a little as I experienced the temperature difference between the upper and lower levels of the garden. I sat down in the chair in the West corner, which was shaded by the stone wall and the trees. Sitting, I tucked one foot under me, while the other foot dangled in the cool grass below. A magazine lay opened across my lap and I became engrossed in an article I was reading. Occasionally, I looked up, gazing at the cascading water falling over the rocks and into the pool below. The air felt ten degrees cooler, leaving me deliciously comfortable for this time of the day. Deeply engrossed in my reading, I sat quietly, reflecting on my own thoughts. All was still here except the sound of bubbling water and the sweet songs of the birds filling the air. The shade from the tree I sat under felt good. I must have read for at least an hour before I felt something change in the air. By now, I was in a quiet meditative state, reflecting on life and pondering over the article in front of me. The air began to move differently. My nostrils flared in high awareness of a familiar scent. It was triggering a memory of days gone by when I would sit by a stream or waterfall in Massachusetts. There I would smell the moistness in the air, combined with the scents of moss, stone and dampness. The similar fragrance filled my being enough to distract me from my reading. I had sat by this pond many times before and never had the experience of what I was now smelling or feeling. I laid down the magazine, paying more attention to what nature was communicating with me. Again, the warm air seemed to move over the water, cooling it and lifting the scents of nature from the pond. It drifted over to me in a gentle breeze, kissing my skin in cool moist delight. For several minutes, each breeze washed over me, bathing my skin in cool essence of scents not typically found here in Arizona. I was enjoying the game nature was playing. She was distracting me! Just for a moment in time, gentle breezes kissed me, gentle breezes touched me, gentle breezes danced with me and filled my senses. I couldn't help but wonder if David wasn't dancing in the wind.